Is there a better way to start a holiday than with a double sausage and egg McMuffin? Probably not.

This is brilliant. Does it just demonstrate how pop has a beautifully uniform autotune sound?

Lush.

Dear Brian,

It is hot. When we arrived, we laughed at the tour operator woman when she told us the heat would be mid to high 30’s, thinking she actually meant mid to high 20’s. It turns out she was right. Would you believe it – even though it’s cold in the UK, it’s hot here and 36 degrees. Madness.

So, to celebrate this new found heat, we thought it would probably be a good idea if we went for a bike ride in the heat, across a martian volcanic desert, to the other side of the island, 20k’s away, to see if there was any nice beaches over there. It took us 3hrs to get there, mainly because cycling on sand and rutted tracks requires lots of breaks.

Thankfully, there was a nice beach, and there were a few waves too. But, by the time we got there, it was time to turn around and turn back, so we didn’t really get to enjoy the beach at all. To commiserate we had some calamari and ice cold coca colas. Oh yes, we’re living it up.

Finally, you’ll notice that I jumped in the pool. That was fun too actually.

Love Ben.

Today is a Friday, and so to celebrate we went in search of dunes and waves on the bicycles. It was 35ºc and I was hot. The wife lagged far behind and was fading fast. So fast in fact, that we had to cut short the search for waves and settle for dunes instead.

There were lots of naked people. Suspicious.

When you spot a Shetland pony ambling about in a field, you’d be forgiven for mishearing them gently neigh; ‘Would you mind hopping on? I’d like to take you for a ride.’

It’s certainly happened to me a few times, and so I thought it was only fair that I shared my knowledge with you all so that you too can enjoy these diminuitive beats to the full.

Obviously Shetlands are small, which makes them ideal for a quick ride on those rare occasions when you’re not equipped with your saddle.

Note how in the picture above I approach the pony – with care and considersation, you can tell that just by the look on my face. Rather than vaulting onto the pony from behind as you may be tempted, It’s important to approach from the side and casually lift your leg over, whilst continually doing that pat thing to keep the pony calm.

If you actually manage to get on the pony, you’re doing better than me. They just keep running away.

Maybe next time.

Day two of our Canadian Wells Gray Provincial Park adventure.

We began the day with our all inclusive spring-saver package with the all you can eat buffet breakfast. Oddly enough for a Canadian buffet it was a la continentale so there wasn’t a blueberry pancake in sight, yet alone the ever flowing meliflous sirop de maple. I was a moose out of Canada.

Next up was rafting. This was the one thing that I’d been really looking forward to on this trip; I wanted to be scared and ideally be thrown out of the raft and nearly drown etc. Unfortunately though, despite all the best efforts of the guides who made a valiant effort to whoop, high five, yee ha et al down the river, the rafting was actually incredibly tame and it wasn’t until I threw myself in the water to do a spot of swimming that my hair got wet. Poosticks.

Then the day took a strange turn. As we were making our way back to the lodge, we chanced upon two donkeys gently trotting down the road. It was a little incongrous; it’s not every day you see donkeys in Canada, especially donkeys trotting down a road miles from anywhere. As we got closer, we realised (albeit particularly slowly) that these beasts were not donkeys at all. They were the mighty moose. By then it was too late though, the moose had given us the slip and we were left scratching our mosquito bites.

Of course, a holiday to Canada isn’t complete without hunting a bear. I’ve heard it said that in the absence of bears, sometimes you have to make do with a large dog. So following the donkey sighting which in fact turned out to be a moose, we cocked our guns and sharpened our knives in readiness of a dog or bear sighting.

We didn’t have to wait long. Not far down the road trotted a bear pretending to be a dog (mainly on account of employing a dog-like gait, and being a tad small). It was a bit of an awkward moment so, as advised in all the good bear hunting manuals, we wound down the window for a quick chat. It was clearly quite upset that we’d found it, seeing as it had tried so hard to be inconspicuos and so the bear began picking some flowers and offered them to us in exchange for its pelt. (see picture above)

Things then turned a bit sour. I said I’d rather have the pelt than the flowers thanks. The bear then gave up on the whole ‘I can be cute like a dog’ thang and charged. Fearing for my Presidents Choice choc chip biscuits tucked away in the back seat I knew I had no choice but to face the beast. I pulled out my hunting knife and charged back at the bear (still seated in the car of course).

Seeing as we were running late for dinner, we let it go.

I think it’s probably time I learnt some skills. I think I’m lacking in them.

Ok, so I’ve got computer skills, haircutting skills (debateable) and have recently been able to add ‘can make mince pies’ to my list of skills, but this is the kind of video that makes me wonder why it is that I never learnt to jump into moving cars.

These really are basic skills that every man should know.

Must learn skills.

You might be surprised to find out this isn’t me. But squint a bit, and it is. Voila.

Jon Foreman’s been busy of late. Just caught this from my friend Steep-fun-John, who conveniently doubles up as a brother. Who’d have thought, in the age of Spotify, some people in Nigeria would still be using MySpace to find new music. Crazy.

It sounds nice, like a blend of Nickel Creek and Jon Foreman. Mainly Foreman though.

They’ve even got a free download. Lush.