Ben Aston | benaston.com

Boys 1 – 0 Girls, originally uploaded by benaston.

Can point out please, that the boys won the first match in the boys v girls weekly games tournament.

Could it have been that the boys finally had the strength in numbers required to topple the girls?

Or should we discount that, because the rules clearly dictate that due to limited gamesmanship skill, Laurence can only count as half?

Watev. Hurrah.

Ben is a T-Rex, originally uploaded by benaston.

What better way to begin the year than with a decadent costume?

I thought there was probably nothing more extravagant than a T-Rex at a ‘decades’ themed party. It was pushing the boundaries of the theme slightly, but when is a T-Rex, the most majestic of beasts, ever really out of place?

Yes, it is a crocodile costume, but it’s all about the way you wear it.

Mushroom Farming, originally uploaded by benaston.

I’d just about given up on these buds of fungal goodness when, to my surprise, I discovered that my first foray into the world of shrooms had (in my absence) been a success.

I harvested four 3cm beauties from the first flush – apparently this encourages the second to come through. However, I’m not entirely sure that I’m going to grow enough to cover the £5.98 investment from B&Q – that’s going to take another 6lbs of these late bloomers to appear.

I think this makes me a horticulturalist. Bonus.

Superman body position while body surfing, originally uploaded by benaston.

This is a guide for the many readers who often want to surf whilst on holiday but have difficulties due to either being without a board, or more likely, having problems attaching your surfboard to your hired bicycle because you were lacking funds to hire a car.

The solution is thankfully very simple; you have to use your other board. You.

There’s not really much to it so it doesn’t really require a beginner’s guide, but here’s a few pointers to get you started:

1. Wear Speedos – Aesthetics are important, and not only will you look more professional (who wears speedos but the uber serious) you’ll also reduce drag so you can pop out the front of the wave, just like a real surfer.

2. Swim – You’d be surprised at the number of pseudo-surfers who are quite content to float around and just assume that the wave will pick them up, and magically lift them to their feet. You may have noticed that this doesn’t happen all that often. Strangely enough, it doesn’t happen with body surfing either. Swimming is important; without it you won’t catch any waves.

3. Be Punctual – I’m very pleased to be widely known as being punctual, you might have even mistaken me as being German I’m that timely. And that’s the key to body surfing. Probably the most difficult bit is actually catching waves. It’s all about timing; starting swimming just before the wave’s about to break so it you surf down the wave and out the front rather than just floating along with it.

4. Body Positions – My favourite is Superman as you can see above. What’s important is that whatever position you choose, it looks heroic. Without looking heroic, you probably won’t catch the attentions of the mermaid babes on the rocks.

5. Accessorise – There’s plenty of different things you could go for to complete the look and which will helpfully double up to ameliorate performance. Goggles are an inexpensive but effective option but to really look professional, I’d recommend flippers, or fins as we call them in the business. Waddling into the sea will catch everyone’s attention, and the extra propulsion will help you catch even more waves.

That’s about it; using this guide you’ll be body surfing in no time at all.

Pool jump, originally uploaded by benaston.

Dear Brian,

It is hot. When we arrived, we laughed at the tour operator woman when she told us the heat would be mid to high 30’s, thinking she actually meant mid to high 20’s. It turns out she was right. Would you believe it – even though it’s cold in the UK, it’s hot here and 36 degrees. Madness.

So, to celebrate this new found heat, we thought it would probably be a good idea if we went for a bike ride in the heat, across a martian volcanic desert, to the other side of the island, 20k’s away, to see if there was any nice beaches over there. It took us 3hrs to get there, mainly because cycling on sand and rutted tracks requires lots of breaks.

Thankfully, there was a nice beach, and there were a few waves too. But, by the time we got there, it was time to turn around and turn back, so we didn’t really get to enjoy the beach at all. To commiserate we had some calamari and ice cold coca colas. Oh yes, we’re living it up.

Finally, you’ll notice that I jumped in the pool. That was fun too actually.

Love Ben.

I am the velo man, originally uploaded by benaston.

Today is a Friday, and so to celebrate we went in search of dunes and waves on the bicycles. It was 35ºc and I was hot. The wife lagged far behind and was fading fast. So fast in fact, that we had to cut short the search for waves and settle for dunes instead.

There were lots of naked people. Suspicious.

Riding a Shetland pony, originally uploaded by benaston.

When you spot a Shetland pony ambling about in a field, you’d be forgiven for mishearing them gently neigh; ‘Would you mind hopping on? I’d like to take you for a ride.’

It’s certainly happened to me a few times, and so I thought it was only fair that I shared my knowledge with you all so that you too can enjoy these diminuitive beats to the full.

Obviously Shetlands are small, which makes them ideal for a quick ride on those rare occasions when you’re not equipped with your saddle.

Note how in the picture above I approach the pony – with care and considersation, you can tell that just by the look on my face. Rather than vaulting onto the pony from behind as you may be tempted, It’s important to approach from the side and casually lift your leg over, whilst continually doing that pat thing to keep the pony calm.

If you actually manage to get on the pony, you’re doing better than me. They just keep running away.

Maybe next time.

He was my brother, originally uploaded by benaston.

He eloped and was wed to Claire Penelop-pop. It was a Friday. 09.10.09.

He was my brother, called Steepfun John. He was one of my favourite brothers actually. Then, one day he put his childish ways behind him and became a man.

Before he did all that, we managed one last swim together in the wilds of the Sea-Swans. On the stoke of midnight we donned our trunks, headed to the beach and cast ourselves into the frozen wastes of the Gower.

Surprisingly for someone of my skill and ability, I wasn’t chosen to be part of the elopment and be one of those who’d wear a fancy suit and be given responsibility. I regarded this more as an oversight rather than a deliberate mistake as I was commissioned instead to take pictures of the boys preening themselves in preparation for the service. Those pictures will appear soon.

RIP Steepfun.

Bear hunting in Wells Grey Park BC, originally uploaded by benaston.

Day two of our Canadian Wells Gray Provincial Park adventure.

We began the day with our all inclusive spring-saver package with the all you can eat buffet breakfast. Oddly enough for a Canadian buffet it was a la continentale so there wasn’t a blueberry pancake in sight, yet alone the ever flowing meliflous sirop de maple. I was a moose out of Canada.

Next up was rafting. This was the one thing that I’d been really looking forward to on this trip; I wanted to be scared and ideally be thrown out of the raft and nearly drown etc. Unfortunately though, despite all the best efforts of the guides who made a valiant effort to whoop, high five, yee ha et al down the river, the rafting was actually incredibly tame and it wasn’t until I threw myself in the water to do a spot of swimming that my hair got wet. Poosticks.

Then the day took a strange turn. As we were making our way back to the lodge, we chanced upon two donkeys gently trotting down the road. It was a little incongrous; it’s not every day you see donkeys in Canada, especially donkeys trotting down a road miles from anywhere. As we got closer, we realised (albeit particularly slowly) that these beasts were not donkeys at all. They were the mighty moose. By then it was too late though, the moose had given us the slip and we were left scratching our mosquito bites.

Of course, a holiday to Canada isn’t complete without hunting a bear. I’ve heard it said that in the absence of bears, sometimes you have to make do with a large dog. So following the donkey sighting which in fact turned out to be a moose, we cocked our guns and sharpened our knives in readiness of a dog or bear sighting.

We didn’t have to wait long. Not far down the road trotted a bear pretending to be a dog (mainly on account of employing a dog-like gait, and being a tad small). It was a bit of an awkward moment so, as advised in all the good bear hunting manuals, we wound down the window for a quick chat. It was clearly quite upset that we’d found it, seeing as it had tried so hard to be inconspicuos and so the bear began picking some flowers and offered them to us in exchange for its pelt. (see picture above)

Things then turned a bit sour. I said I’d rather have the pelt than the flowers thanks. The bear then gave up on the whole ‘I can be cute like a dog’ thang and charged. Fearing for my Presidents Choice choc chip biscuits tucked away in the back seat I knew I had no choice but to face the beast. I pulled out my hunting knife and charged back at the bear (still seated in the car of course).

Seeing as we were running late for dinner, we let it go.

hanging out with josh radin, originally uploaded by benaston.

As any self respecting tourist would, on the day after Canada Day, today we took a trip on the wild side and made it all the way into Vancouver. It was indeed a wild time; for starters, my flip flop broke so I had to go all hippy and go bare foot; like a bear with no bearskin..

The hippyness didn’t end there though. After crepes, bellinis, honey lagers (not as good as Fullers) and more food, we stood in a line for a long time outside the Commodore Ballroom waiting for tickets for Joshua Radin and the uber hip Xavier Rudd.

It was good to see Josh again. In fact, as you can see, these days we’re practically best buds. It was all a bit rushed though, and with a half hour supporting slot, he didn’t have time to work his magic; the Commodore crowd was a bit of a let down – there wasn’t a whole lotta love and the old acoustic unplugged thing, along with a few of his new songs fell on its face a bit. Thankfully, a few classics, Closer, and Winter made it worth the trip to see him.

Then came Rudd. It has to be said that I don’t think I’ve ever listened to a whole Xavier Rudd song all the way through; they’re not exactly known for their brevity though, are they? It soon became apparent that the reason Josh wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea was because they were a bit too stoned and hippy for him.

Cue Rudd, the spliffs are unveiled across the room and an awesome world music come reggae rock cacaphony begins. He does some amazing things, combining didgeridoo, slide guitar, and drums to make what can really only be described as reggae music for white people. Of course with reggae comes dancing, and there was more than a healthy sprinkling of that. Not just any kind of white reggae dancing, but odly enough it seemed that it was all very much influenced by Kate Bush a la Wuthering Heights. Weird.

Let’s save the planet.