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August 2011

Loot-proof house for sale
(ideal for riots and stuff)

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Harry Hippo and the House, originally uploaded by benaston.

After the rioting of the last few days, you’d be forgiven for wondering if your abode was loot-proof. To be honest, it probably isn’t. The looters are so small, they can get into big houses like yours in a jiffy. What’s more, if you’re not a Sikh, you probably haven’t got a sword to wave at them when they get in. So perhaps you’ll be interested in my loot-proof house?

The picture above brings the idea to life; combining a small but robust house with a large hippo (Harry, in this instance), lurking in the shadows, ready and willing to pounce on any potential looters. The benefit of the small house is obviously to make it difficult for looters to actually get in. The hippo, although giving the appearance of being menacing, is actually quite friendly, but should do the job at biting anyone that tries coming in through the rear jardinerie.

Admittedly, right now it’s just a concept, but it’s probably going to be massive when the meeja get hold of it. Maybe even Inspector Corbett will ask me about it: she still hasn’t got in touch about breaking my bike lock the other week.

But should they go to auction as single items, or as a pair?  Would anyone buy these pieces of art history?

L’arte comme L’argos.