Seeing as we’ve had so much snow in 2010, it’s probably only good and proper that we should start taking an interest in the Winter Olympics. And naturally, it was only a matter of time before that snow translated into a medal in the skeleton.
Bear in mind that we tend to win loads of medals at the Winter Olympics, so this is hardly a big deal, barely even mentioning actually. But Amy Williams, for putting us in 16th place in the medal table by sliding down a hill on a tray, thank you.
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
This is an academic piece, based on purely fictitious-ish characters, imagining what life would be like for me if I’d have continued my walk with academia. Credit to Dr Aston for the inspiration.
Kevin should be finishing his thesis soon. Glasses. A wiry man with a neatly shaven head. Wild, black hair frongs extravagantly from his ears and nose. There is something ageless about him, he’s in his 40s – been around for a while, perhaps too long.
Kevin is clever. Very clever. When you say anything to him he’ll wince and pull a funny face that says with absolute clarity; ‘You’re an idiot’. If you have the audacity to ask him a question he’ll tell you so many clever things in response that you’ll be completely befuddled and forget what you asked him in the first place.
Rosemary hasn’t been around long. She is bitter. Bitter because I got the funding she applied for. She started in October just before me so she’ll be here most the time I am. There will be no reprieve. I’m a constant reminder to her of the price she’s paying. She had to sell her business to be here.
She is weird. Sits to my left. She mutters continuously to herself. Unintelligible.
It’s 9.45 on Tuesday morning. Rosemary is feeling cheerful. Kevin looks funny. He has come in from the rain and has the appearance of someone who’s been swimming with his clothes on.
Rosemary: “You look as lovely as ever this morning!”
An awkward silence is punctuated only by Rosemary’s muttering. Kevin pulls that face of confusion; someone’s said something that is very clearly incorrect. Perplexed. Annoyed. Kevin finally speaks.
Kevin: “Right. I’m not really sure how to respond to that.”
Rosemary doesn’t realise it’s mean to make fun of how people look, especially when they are people who don’t understand jokes. Kevin doesn’t understand jokes.
I don’t belong here. I’m a creep.