Monthly Archives

November 2009

Mushroom Farming

By | Diary | No Comments

Mushroom Farming, originally uploaded by benaston.

I’d just about given up on these buds of fungal goodness when, to my surprise, I discovered that my first foray into the world of shrooms had (in my absence) been a success.

I harvested four 3cm beauties from the first flush – apparently this encourages the second to come through. However, I’m not entirely sure that I’m going to grow enough to cover the £5.98 investment from B&Q – that’s going to take another 6lbs of these late bloomers to appear.

I think this makes me a horticulturalist. Bonus.

Beginner’s guide to surfing (sans board)

By | Conjecture | No Comments

This is a guide for the many readers who often want to surf whilst on holiday but have difficulties due to either being without a board, or more likely, having problems attaching your surfboard to your hired bicycle because you were lacking funds to hire a car.

The solution is thankfully very simple; you have to use your other board. You.

There’s not really much to it so it doesn’t really require a beginner’s guide, but here’s a few pointers to get you started:

1. Wear Speedos – Aesthetics are important, and not only will you look more professional (who wears speedos but the uber serious) you’ll also reduce drag so you can pop out the front of the wave, just like a real surfer.

2. Swim – You’d be surprised at the number of pseudo-surfers who are quite content to float around and just assume that the wave will pick them up, and magically lift them to their feet. You may have noticed that this doesn’t happen all that often. Strangely enough, it doesn’t happen with body surfing either. Swimming is important; without it you won’t catch any waves.

3. Be Punctual – I’m very pleased to be widely known as being punctual, you might have even mistaken me as being German I’m that timely. And that’s the key to body surfing. Probably the most difficult bit is actually catching waves. It’s all about timing; starting swimming just before the wave’s about to break so it you surf down the wave and out the front rather than just floating along with it.

4. Body Positions – My favourite is Superman as you can see above. What’s important is that whatever position you choose, it looks heroic. Without looking heroic, you probably won’t catch the attentions of the mermaid babes on the rocks.

5. Accessorise – There’s plenty of different things you could go for to complete the look and which will helpfully double up to ameliorate performance. Goggles are an inexpensive but effective option but to really look professional, I’d recommend flippers, or fins as we call them in the business. Waddling into the sea will catch everyone’s attention, and the extra propulsion will help you catch even more waves.

That’s about it; using this guide you’ll be body surfing in no time at all.