I went on holiday and saw how beef burgers are made. I think this picture kind of explains it.
As I’m sure you know, there’s a bit of too-ing and fro-ing before the mmmeat undergoes its burger transformation. This is the bit that has been known to cause a bit of a kefuffle and excitement in some veggie corners.
To start off with there’s a lot of poncing around as everyone introduces themselves to the crowd (in strict formation of course) and does a strange lap of honour. Then the exciting part – the bull is let loose and everyone cheers; the matadors flap their pink capes a bit, but as soon as the bull is even remotely close, they hide behind their fence. That’s about it for round one.
Round two is probably the most exciting for a bull fighting novice like myself. The knights (chaps on big, armoured and blindfolded horses) trott into the ring and hey presto, the bull kicks up some dust, snorts, and charges. The fun bit is that the bull sometimes manages to get under the horse and tip it over; then there’s all kinds of flapping and panic as the bull runs amok while people frantically try to get the horse back up and stay clear of the bull. Unfortunately though, more often than not, the bull gets a good poke, just enough to get it reallllly annoyed.
There’s a few more rounds before the bull gets towed away to be made into burgers. Matadors come back in the ring and try bejewelling the bull with some giant pipe cleaners. Unfortunately, if the bull is any good, they tend to finish it off really quickly. This for me, is the most disappointing aspect of the bull fight. If the bull really is a mean machine; at least give it a fighting chance and let it prove itself – the matadors should do some good ol?’s, prance about a bit, and demonstrate their finely honed hunting skills. But it’s not like that. Instead they seem to choose to toy only with the less ‘excitable’ ones yet we are supposed to be impressed.